I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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