He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
