i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
