I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
