Whod you bang
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
