found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
