Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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