More tranny stories later!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
