is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Less talking, more tequila
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I lost the right to judge tonight
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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