wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
