I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
