everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You need Xanax blowdarts
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
