Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
