why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
