idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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