But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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