Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
