It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
