i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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