some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
