I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
