You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the day after is always just damage control
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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