i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
