he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
