So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
