you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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