omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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