Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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