why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
