At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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