My room smells like vodka and shame
the condom got lost in my hair
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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