she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
