i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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