She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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