she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
