this just has baby written all over it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
