I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you never un-have a 4some
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
