Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
