I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
