the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Randomize
