Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
