I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
