WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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