Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
