my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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