my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
