That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
