the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
