Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
