I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
