I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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