Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just had sex bonerless
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
