Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
