I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
be right there i have to get my cape
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
