I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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