Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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