I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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