I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im part way to drunk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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