i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
